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(Not so) seekrit November 27, 2011

Posted by therealtinlizzy in Uncategorized.
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So my current shiny ponycorn is that I have my sights set on going to med school. Orly? When I’m about to turn 37? What a cute mid-thirties crisis.

I’ve been loath for months now to make that public to anyone beyond a very small circle of folks for a few reasons, one of the main ones being:

If, for whatever various and sundry reasons, I don’t actually end up in med school, I can’t be considered flighty/flaky/failure/focus-challenged if NO ONE KNOWS I WAS TRYING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Right. How super ninja stealthy of me. Because no one who already knows me has any idea I’m a spastic attention pinball. It’s a seekrit.

Another reason I’ve had for keeping my med school ambitions seeeeekrit is not wanting to be perceived as an attention whore who’s looking to get strokes and “oooooh – med school? That’s amazing!” by regaling folks with my tales/delusions of med school pursuits. Not saying I’m not an attention whore – hey I do have a blog where I write (like right now!) about the quotidian bits of my life. But just so we’re clear on what kind of an attention whore I am. Or rather, am not. Besides, I already know I’m pretty fucking amazing, got that one covered.

So fuck it. I need to be more verbose about this whole process for my own nefarious purposes; I’m not doing myself any favors being all seekrit about it. I’m tired of running the permutations, possibilities, mental spelunking, and scenarios primarily within the confines of my own head. Hell, my best cognitive work never happens primarily inside my own head – just ask my sig.

Also I’ve found that the quickest way for a thing to just slip-slide its way into pipe-dream-dom is keeping it locked up tight in your own head. (Granted, some things are best kept locked in one’s own head – eg. the voices.) And I figure if I’m not willing to let my goals/intentions percolate beyond the circle of a few no-risk folks who are all sig/friend-obligated to tell me “Hey that’s a real neat idea li’l camper, you go for it!” it doesn’t say much for my apparent confidence/faith in myself to accomplish the thing.

And hell – all of the above completely aside: why would I give even an imaginary fuck about whether you, your mom, Bob Dole or anyone else either makes the astute observation that I’m just as flighty and ADHD as I sure as hell already know I am, or starts a betting-pool on whether or not I manage to land, heaving and coughing, on the shores of med school? Oh right, I don’t. So giddyap little ninja.

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Comments»

1. hdg1 - November 27, 2011

I have an MCAT study guide if you want to borrow it. Also, LMK if you want to talk about med school sometime.

2. Preflash Gordon - December 4, 2011

Your combination of curiosity, science nerd, passion, integrity, desire to help others … all these things and so many more … would make you an awesome physician. I love this idea! Go for it!

3. Freddy - December 4, 2011

You should do it. I think you have a great demeanor for the medical industry.

4. Stefanie - December 10, 2011

I’ve been wondering how the studying is going. I have a coworker who is going to be taking the MCAT in February (is that the right date?) But his background is computer science so he’s been taking chemistry and biology and other classes for the last year in order to prepare. Every time I ask him how it’s going I’m really thinking of you. Maybe I should start asking you instead! 🙂

Stefanie - December 10, 2011

P.S. I have no doubt that you can do this. You are one smart cookie and ADHD or not, when you set your mind to something you succeed!

5. Lisa Van Ahn - January 19, 2012

You know my life feels somewhat paralleled to yours, desiring a gold medal and wondering if I told everyone about this…then what would happen if I didn’t get it (too late now for me, and now for you).

The attention whore thing, well that is different, since I really am one.

All of this aside. You are inspiring because you are going after the impercievable (yes I am pretty sure I just made up a word). You know what I’m getting at. What person would dare attempt med school at 37? Well let me tell you…someone who is in love with going after goals, knows life is about the journey and always looking forward, smart, intelligent, excited about new challenges, wants to keep growing and learning, adventurous, totally f-ing crazy in the best kind of way, bold, imaginative, ready to take on their dream whatever it is, whenever it hits them.

Oh that is so you! GO AFTER IT! Plus your dream has you making some money once you are done. Mine (at best) has me with a mild case of arthritis. See didn’t I say you were smart? You picked the better dream.

Now go get it so you can treat me when I have arthritis.


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